Values and Beliefs

We all have our own values and beliefs. The things that are important to us, that make us who we are.

Let’s start with our values - these are the things which we hold dear, the things which are important to us. In coaching we use something called the wheel of life to get our clients to think about their values and understand how these sit within their lives.

Think of the wheel as having segments, like the segments of an orange - in each of these segments you write a value. For example - Spirituality, Health, Career, Finances, Family, Relationships, Friends, Hobbies, Fun, Travel, Personal Growth etc

Then in each segment you assign it a number from 1-10 depending on how satisfied and fulfilled you are with that area of your life.

So for example you could be in your ideal job, making a 6 figure salary and feeling absolutely content with your life here. This would be a 10. On the other hand you may be working so much you barely have time for yourself and your fun level is at a 2 so you mark the fun segment a 2.

You can get creative with this and colour the segments in according to the number - so if its a 2 you colour in just a small chunk of the segment, however if it is a 10 you colour the whole damn segment in! What ever works for you to give this impact.

An example wheel of wellness I use. 

Now there are no right or wrong answers to this and it is purely a subjective and individual exercise but it helps you look at your life and think -’Are there things I want to change?’ ‘Where do I want to focus my efforts?’

This exercise can be adapted for any area of your life. You can do a wheel just for health and fitness, or just for career, or just for personal growth. It really has endless possibilities and this is something I use with my clients to help them formulate some goals to get them moving forward and starting to live the life they love.

Why don’t you have a go at doing your own wheel of life exercise?

Next, let’s look at your beliefs. We all have belief systems. We learn these as we are growing up. We are taught by our parents, our environment, our social settings, our education - it all leads to us forming a certain set of beliefs, that we live our lives by.

On the whole our beliefs serve to make us who we are but there are times when we have what we call self limiting beliefs. These are things we think are true but are in fact false realities that stop us from achieving our full potential.

An example of this is maybe - I could never be a doctor. No-one else in my family is a doctor. We are not brainy enough in this family to be doctors. This is a self limiting belief.

Being a doctor requires hard work, a good education and a university degree. All of which are completely attainable to anyone who wants it so badly they are willing to go through the hardship to get there - they just need to believe they can do it.

If you want something enough then you can achieve absolutely anything. Now I am not saying there won’t be challenges, that for some the path to becoming a doctor will be so hard that giving up is indeed a lot easier and other professions would seem more attractive. What I am saying here is that by already having the negative voice in your head that is telling you ‘noone else in your family is a doctor so you cant do it’ is a self limiting belief. It limits who you are and stops you from achieving a goal that is absolutely possible. You just need to change your beliefs.

Beliefs are not set in stone. Yes some will be ingrained and harder to alter but you can absolutely change what you believe, if that is something you feel you need to.

Believing you are here for a purpose - Believing that you are capable of anything - Believing that you are in control of your own life. This is where you should all be and if you are not there yet then I promise you, it is possible. If you need my help then get in touch, I can’t wait to help you!

Helen xx

Dreams do come true….

‘The greatest painting you can look at is a sky full of stars’

As long as I can remember, I have felt that life has endless possibilities and the only barrier in the way of achieving our dreams was our own self doubt. I was brought up to believe I could be anyone - achieve anything - all it would take was hard work, consistency and knowledge. I was lucky - not everyone has this same belief but I am here to change things for you. I am here to tell you - you can live exactly the life you want, that dreams do come true.

I have always been a dreamer. I would site for hours as a child and think about what my life would look like when I got older. I remember one time, passing our local hospital and thinking - one day I will work there. I would think about what it would look like to walk around those halls, care for the people inside, eat at the cafeteria and make friends with people there. Years later I started my nurse training and started working in that hospital. I walked the halls, cared for the people inside, ate at the cafeteria and made friends whilst working there. This is what some call manifestation - believing something is a reality until it becomes your reality.

As I got older I started to think about the man I wanted to marry - I had lots of doubts as I was not the most confident person. I wasn’t sure about the whole dating scene, I was awkward and shy and lacked any real self confidence.I also had a pretty poor body image which didn’t help things. Again, the dreamer part of me would spend hours thinking…. I thought about how I wanted to be treated, how I would act in a relationship, what I expected it to be like, where we would go on dates, the fun we would have, the house we would live in, the family we would have.

I met my husband when I was 19 - I wasn’t look for him and I certainly didn’t think I would get married so young. I didn’t have many boyfriends. I had a few dates here and there but mainly just went out in groups and had fun. I had a couple of short relationships and just before meeting my husband, I ended a casual relationship as it just wasn’t working out how I wanted. To be honest, I was looking forward to being single again but nope, the universe had other ideas!

A friend told me she knew someone who was interested in me and we should meet. I remember thinking ‘he better make the effort’ as I was not in the mood for chasing a relationship of any kind. We met and we clicked - it really was like fixing 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together. We are different in so many ways and yet so similar. All the dreams I had about relationships and how it would look became a reality. We got engaged after just 6 weeks and were married within 6 months.

Now I am not advocating a whirlwind romance here, or saying that there won’t be any twists and turns or ups and downs when making dreams into reality. That unfortunately is not realistic. Life happens and we have to deal with that BUT it doesn’t have to derail you from achieving everything you dream and hope for.

If you have a dream, something you really believe in, something you really feel is right for you - then it can become your reality. Think about it often, write it down, make collages or posters about it, save screensavers onto your phone or computer that remind you of your dream. Think about how it would be to live that life. What will you be wearing? How will you act? What will you be doing? Where will you go? How will it feel?

Then start thinking about how you can make this a reality - Do you need to do some training? Learn some new things? Surround yourself with certain people?

What do you need to change now that can help to reach that dream? Do you need to work on your confidence? Do you need to stop doing something that is holding you back - Or start doing something that will help you move forward?

This is why I started coaching, because I know dreams do come true. When we put the effort in and believe so hard that we work to make things happen, we can achieve anything.

Let me help you make this happen for you!!

Good luck with your dreams - Dream big and live even bigger!!

Helen x